i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
cat food counts as protein by the way
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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