Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
