Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
