My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
