After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My cat gives me a boner
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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