I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
