I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
