Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
