I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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