Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
