There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There are leaves in my underwear?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
