I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
