sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
