i just had sex bonerless
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
