Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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