I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize