I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
