I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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