shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
