Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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