We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize