I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
