that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I skipped work to stalk him.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
