p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
