..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
