evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
