Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Pants are for mortals
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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