Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize