My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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