It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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