Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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