Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
