Quick, to the slutcave!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
