please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
