For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
