literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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