So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
