Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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