but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
