Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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