So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
did i just pee glitter
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
