Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
