Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
