Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
