New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
