nut hugger
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
