So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
