And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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