have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
