Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
vagina is talking i cant
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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