Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
