so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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