i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
