I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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