the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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