they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
