I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
