He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
