Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish i was in the wii world.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
