SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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