a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
