i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
