There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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