I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
