FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
