Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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