sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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